Bathing your own father or husband is heavy work, and it changes something between you. It is also, very often, the one job in the week that neither of you wants to talk about. Handing that one task to somebody else is often easier on him than it is on you — and it is usually easier on him than being washed by his own daughter.
You are welcome to be in the house or in the room. A lot of men would rather you were not, and that is worth asking him rather than deciding for him.
A visit starts at $95 for the Foam Bath — 45 minutes to an hour — and goes up to $185 for the Turkish Bath at around two hours. Those are the standard prices; when a sale is running, the lower price is what is charged. Prices and durations for all three are on the home page.
There is no contract, no minimum number of hours, no care plan and no assessment visit to pay for. One visit is one visit. Core Sacramento carries no travel charge; surrounding areas carry a travel fee that is shown before you book.
If you are arranging it rather than booking it for yourself, call (916) 838-6031 and say so. He has to agree to it himself — that is not a formality, it is the standard on every visit — but the arranging, the questions and the paying can all be yours.
This is the part everybody gets stuck on. He is not refusing because he does not need it. He is refusing because saying yes sounds like the beginning of losing his house, his licence and his say in things. Nothing you say will work if it confirms that. A few things that do help:
"It's a bath. A proper one, at home, with someone who does this all day."
Not care. Not help. Not a carer coming round. A bath is a thing men buy for themselves in other countries and always have. The word you choose decides which conversation you are having.
"I can't keep lifting you in and out of that tub, Dad. I'm asking for me."
Men who will not accept help will often accept giving it. If the honest reason is that you cannot manage any more, say the honest reason.
"You pick the day. You can ask for a man or a woman. You can stop it halfway through and they leave. Try it once and if you hate it we never do it again."
All four of those are true, and all four are the opposite of what he is afraid of. One visit with an exit is a much smaller thing to agree to than "getting help".
"Nothing on the van. Nobody will know but us."
A lot of the resistance is about the neighbours. Vehicles and supplies arrive unmarked, and if he would rather it did not happen at his address at all, appointments are available at a private Sacramento location instead.
Not at a family dinner, not with grandchildren in the room, and not straight after something has gone wrong in the bathroom. Ask him on an ordinary day when nothing is at stake, and let him say no once without it becoming a row. Ask again in a fortnight.
Menswood provides non-medical personal care assistance to adults aged 18 and over. It is not nursing and it is not medical care: we do not diagnose, treat medical conditions, cut toenails, treat foot conditions or administer medication. If he needs a nurse, he needs a nurse. If what he needs is to be clean, that is this. Safety, Consent & Privacy sets out the whole standard, and Who We Help describes the men who book it.
Yes. Call (916) 838-6031 and say you are arranging it for someone else. He has to agree to it himself — that is not a formality, it is the standard on every visit — but the arranging, the questions and the paying can all be yours.
Warm the room first, get everything within arm's reach before he undresses, and let him sit rather than stand — a shower chair and non-slip matting make the difference between a wash that is safe and one that is not. Wash in a settled order so he always knows what is coming next, keep him covered except for the part being washed, and dry him properly, especially between the toes and in the folds. If any of that is beyond what you can do on your own, it is what this service is for.
A visit starts at $95 for the Foam Bath, which runs 45 minutes to an hour, and goes up to $185 for the Turkish Bath at around two hours. Those are the standard prices; when a sale is running, the lower price is what is charged. There is no contract, no minimum number of hours and no assessment visit to pay for.
No. There is no assessment, no care plan and no intake interview. You book one visit, and if it goes well you book another.
Yes. You are welcome to be in the house or in the room for any visit. Many men would rather you were not, and that is worth asking him about rather than deciding for him.
He can state a preference when the visit is booked. It is honoured whenever possible, it cannot be guaranteed, and he is always told who is coming before the visit.
Call and describe the situation. We will tell you honestly what is worth booking, including if that is nothing.